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 Post subject: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 9:20 am 
I don't care if they are off color, or racist. Any joke will do! I'll start!

A trucker walks into a small cafe and orders a burger, coffee, and a slice of pie for lunch. After he sits down to start to eat, three bikers walk in. The first biker grabs the driver's burger and takes a huge bite. The second grabs his coffee and downs it in one gulp. The last biker grabs the pie, and eats it all. The trucker says nothing, gets up, pays for his meal, and leaves. The first biker says to the waitress "He ain't much of a man, is he?" The waitress replies "He's not much of a driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles!"


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:09 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:21 pm
Posts: 15
Location: ohio
Good one!! :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:43 pm 
thanks! Leave a Joke please.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 4:43 am 
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Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 2:14 am
Posts: 551
Location: Binghamton, NY
Truck driver jokes, eh? OK. So a truck driver pulls into a diner on the road far from home. He sits at the counter and is taken back by the menu above the grill. "Hamburgers $2.00, Cheeseburgers $2.50, Hotdogs $1.75, Fries $1.00, Scrambled Eggs and bacon $2.50, Handjobs $10.00"

The cook/waitress, a hot blond with a skimpy uniform, asks the driver "What'd ya have, hon?"

"You the one that gives the handjobs?" he asks.

"Yes I am, darlin'!" she flirts.

The driver replies: "Well, then go wash your hands and make me a fuckin' cheeseburger!"

:x R.C. & P.H. Co.

_________________
jdr


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:01 am 
I love that one! any jokes will do!

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the hatch.

How can you tell if a blonde has been typing on a computer?
There is whiteout all over the screen.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:31 am 
A man walks into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asks him "What happened?" He replies "I was ironing, and the phone rang. I accidentally answered the iron." "Well what happened to the other ear?" his boss asks. "I had to call the doctor."


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:26 am 
One young boy to another: "My name is Billy. What's yours?" "Tommy" said the second boy. "My Daddy's an accountant. What's yours?", asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?", asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind.", replied Tommy.

Hope this brightens your day!


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 4:58 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:51 pm
Posts: 1423
Location: SW Indiana
Miner Dave wrote:
I don't care if they are off color, or racist. Any joke will do!


I DO care! And I have a delete button and I know how to use it.

_________________
I don't have all the answers.
I don't even know all the questions!


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:03 pm 
I was kidding! I HATE racist jokes!


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:22 am 
Today's joke- A priest, a minister, a rabbi, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a dummy, and a soldier walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "What is this, a joke?"


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:29 am 
A princess has a curse cast upon her that everything she touches with her hands turns to liquid. Her father, the king, is getting desperate for a successor, so he announces a contest. The winner is whoever can come up with something that the princess cannot melt, thereby breaking the curse, and will get a large amount of land, the princess' hand in marriage, half of the treasury, a knighthood, and will be the king when he dies. Three men sign up. The first brings a beautiful harp, encrusted with precious gems, gold inlay, and made by the best musician in the kingdom. The princess plucks a strings, and the harp emits a pure note as it melts. The man walks away, head hanging low, very sad. The second man comes in with a sword from the best blacksmith in the entire kingdom, made with a new kind of steel and a state-of -the -art forging method. The princess takes the hilt, and it melts. The man is almost in tears as he walks away, head hanging low. The third man comes in just smiling, because he knows that no one has thought of his idea. He walks up to the princess, tells her to reach into his pocket. He does, feels around, and blushes. The man winns the contest and all of the prizes.

What did he have in his pocket?

I'll tell you tomorrow. feel free to submit your answers


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:41 pm 
The answer is to the question "What did he have in his pocket?" is M&Ms. The melt in your mouth, not in your hand or pocket!


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:13 pm 
Come on people! I created this so you could share jokes with others! I have been the only one posting for a while!


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:01 am 
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Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 2:14 am
Posts: 551
Location: Binghamton, NY
:x Here one. Not from Pakistan. No chinee either. :x

Sister Mary walked into the town liquor store, picked up a bottla whisky, and went to check out.

"Ah Jayzus, sister, whata ya be buyin' dat fer? I didn't tink yous nuns can drink b 'gorrah!" said Paddy, the shop owner.

"It's not for me, it's for Mother Superior's constipation" Mary told him.

"Ah, I see. Well then, here ya are. Have a nice day" Paddy tells her. Couple hours later, Paddy closes the shop and walks toward home in the rain. He comes across Sister Mary laying on the side of the road soaking wet, filthy, covered in vomit, and with only a drop of booze left in the bottle.

"Saints preserve us! What'd ya go drinkin' dat bottle fer? I tunk ya said dat was fer Mother Superior's constipation lass!" Paddy asks her.

"It is!" she says with a slur. "She's gonna shit when she sees me like this!"

_________________
jdr


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 Post subject: Re: Random Jokes!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 11:24 am 
NICE!! So we are doing nun jokes, huh? Here's another one!

A doctor is coming off his break when he sees a nun coming out of his intern's office. The nun is as white as a sheet. He goes into the intern's office and asks "What did you tell that poor woman?" His intern replies "I told her she was pregnant." The doctor goes "Why did you tell that to a nun!?!" "Well, it got rid of her hiccups!"


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